Joazinho came up to me panicked saying
a bug was in his ear and was biting him. We were watching 'Lost' at
the time trying to figure out if the guys were really dead or in
purgatory or what, is this now, the future, or the past, so my mind is
in kind of an altered state to start with. I take him into a lit
place and see blood running from his ear... must have been the sonic
fence. I rinse his ear and see that in his panic trying to get the
bug out he has scratched his outer ear and there is no blood coming
from the inner ear. Huge relief on my part. All the while Joa is
dancing the panic dance I'm trying to keep him calm while I figure he
is doing actually pretty good knowing that if a bug was in my ear
biting me I would be much more freaked out then he is. How does one
rationally calm a 11 year old who has a hungry munching bug in his
head??? Drugs man drugs, where are they when you need them?

I remember hearing that if you get a
bug in your ear you can put a light in the ear and the bug will come
out... not this one. Seems this one is light sensitive and every
time I put the light to his ear the bug freaked out and then of
course Joao freaks as well. After doing that a few times I try and
look deep in to Joao's ear. Gezz how did the bug even make it in
there? Clean you ears kid.
After holding Joao down and hacking a
path down the canal for the bug to make it back out without rendering Joao permanently deaf, I can now see
that it is a moth stuck on it's back by the moisture... on his ear
drum. I can see the critter staring back at me trying to flap it's wings and it's feet
wigging around and Joao is going through the roof. So how do you get
a moth, that is chained to the dungeon walls, to get out? I got a
syringe (w/o a needle) and tried to gently but forcefully blow the bug off the drum
if not out of the ear. Not a chance. Now the bug is not
appreciating all this and is having is own panic attack. Poor Joao
is crying and trying his best to keep calm, remarkably so, but really
a hysterical bug beating on your eardrum? This is 'Survivor' material.
I now figure the best thing for the
moment is to kill the bug and maybe that would at least calm Joao,
then deal with the dead bug later. I have Joao lay down and we get
some cooking oil and warm it up a bit (it is 'cold' here now and the
oil is kind of chunky). Then I very carefully let oil run in his ear
canal being careful not to create a bubble inside his inner ear for
the moth to live in. It fills up and lo and behold a moth comes
floating to the top. YES!!
I have to hand it to Joao how he
could remain as calm as he was while and unknown bug was 'munching'
on his ear drum is nothing short of incredible.

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